los sentimientos....

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Virtues and Virtual

Its getting dark outside. Probably 06:30 or 07:00 in the evening. He is standing at the parking of a great place to ‘hang out’. He can hear lots of noise around him. The clamorous sounds of youngsters. The air emanating with perfumes and burned tobacco. The place lighted by pinks and reds and the walls painted with yellows and oranges. Rows of lighted signboards and billboards come to his view. The cell phones ringing every second or so and people taking savor in the ostentatious display of their handsets. People all around him talking in ‘Hinglesh’ and using improvised phrases. Myriads of bikes lined up seeming an organized manifestation. He sits alone on his ‘ not to be mentioned about ‘ two-wheeler. He can clearly see people, specially girls, giving him derogatory glances and he wonders why? Men (rather guys) around are dressed in electric colored T-shirts and jeans or a designer trouser. They all are trying hard to mock Hrithik Roshan from his latest cult, differing with each other only in the shades. And the girls…. well what to say, dressed in skimpy clothes with tops much above their waist lines signifying their tacit motto of ‘revealing than concealing’. Their strut is aimed to catch the perfect among those preying eyes. He, on the other hand, is in a T-shirt and a pair of jeans, descent enough to escape the jeering eyes. He knows he doesn’t fits there.

AtHe wanders alone along this ‘tinsel town’ trying to figure out where his friend is? There he sees a girl which, once (to that matter even now), he was madly in love with, standing along with lots of other guys and girls, imbibed in fagging and soft drinks( respt.), chirping aimlessly in monotony. She sees him and suddenly becomes conscious. …passes him a feeble plastic smile trying to say as if it was because of him that they are not together and she really enjoys ‘this’ company. There is also a slight enigma over her face, trying to figure out ‘what is he doing here?’. He turns around and leaves. No one notices the tiny droplet of tear running down his cheeks.. He moves cursing his friend for calling him there. He had earlier urged him not to do so but…. well it was much severe than he had anticipated. He looks around left and right for the final time and moves towards his vehicle. Silently he drives off that place.

At his home he locks himself in his room. He had always been the obedient son of his parents, compromising over almost every debated matter with friends, being fairly OK with the studies, keeping off with smoking and drinking. Now he blames himself for all the loneliness and troubles. He couldn’t fit himself the definition of “liberal mindedness” they all gave him. But now he realizes that its not your virtues but your apt towards the virtual world that makes you accepted in the society. Its not your clean heart but your affected talk that brings you near. Its not your sincerity but your charm that counts. You are not known by the veracity of your soul but the looks you carry, vogue clothes you wear, costly phones you have, cool language or ‘lingo’ you acquire and the bikes you drive. Unfortunately, he has nothing of these. All he is left with is his shattered confidence and redundant virtues.

*****Ankur

My Lament Whisper...

All life long I wanted her so badly
Referring myself with “Truly, Deeply, Madly..”
The plight was tacit, the fact was clean
How can a layman get the Queen !?!

I prayed to God, I struggled very hard
But guess wasn’t lucky ‘ to be in her card’.
Was made to realize “ a beggar ain’t a chooser.”
Despite my invocations I ended as a looser.

Everything was so perfect, appearing as magic.
Now the anecdote has ended with the finale so tragic.
It mutilated me badly but left no mark.
A moment ago was colorful and now so dark.

My dreams were all shattered but she didn’t even care
Am I still in the sleep …livin’ the nightmare??
I became spasmodic…she remained fine.
I was the’ cola’ and she preferred only ‘wine’.

I prayed for her joys, she made me cry
Todays are down deep, yesterdays were high!
She treats me strange as if a formality
‘I’m out of her books’ facing the reality.

Those times are gone, those sweets and cakes!!
What remnant is “ME”, giving her constant headaches.
She came as a downpour, and now it’s a drought
I recall when did she, last, gave me a thought !?!

She says everything is fine, there ain’t any change
I have accepted the reality..no animus, no revenge.
She took it so easy… analyzed so less
I tried once too…made my life all mess!!

My love was worthless which she wanted to purge
I wish she remains happy…far away from my dirge.
As for my life, I have nothing else to desire.
The path I am walking on is going to a dire
.

*****Ankur

Ever tried...

Ever tried walking over ice!
The more you try, the more you slip
The less you move… you get the grip!!

Ever tried putting off a fire!
The more you puff, the more it glows
Leave it to the lull…and off it goes!!

Ever tried escaping the frost!
Despite the coffees, you feel the chill
Instead… take some brandy and remain still!!

Ever tried bungee jumping from a hill!
The more you see,’ appalled’ it appears
Just close your eyes… raze off your fears!!

Ever tried escaping derision!
The more you argue, the more you’re hurt
Don’t care a damn, remain strong and curt!!

*****Ankur

Revelations of a jaded soul....

I’m sitting in the corner in an inexplicable mood
Wondering why the ambience seems so rude?!
Thinking over matters and feeling the pain…
Recollecting those losses in search of a Gain.

Looking upon those evanescent heydays
Questioning weather, ever, does loyalty pays?
Just doing and giving even beyond my extant
And getting in the end what wasn’t even dreamt.

Those genialities I felt, that warmth I received
Was all part of a play! Soon I was deceived.
I took it earnestly ……they had intended levity
It was all for fun…much justified to their brevity.

There smiles were small, their wishes were rife
To let that be granted, I vowed ‘em aim of my life.
Until they endured me, I was there cosset – no doubt!!
Soon someone else enticed them - I was cut right out!!

They associated with me during my blithe and bloom
And now I’m a loner…pale in the shadows of gloom.
My state is perilous like a canoe amidst a raging wave
But finally its going to be peace, akin a rose over the grave
.

*****Ankur