A Suicidal Note ......

Before reading this, I would like to pronounce the disclaimer that the character depicted here is purely fictional and the ideas reflected here doesn't belong to anyone in particular. This is a product of a idle mind with some free time. So read on.......

I am going to die. Yes, I have taken this decision in my complete conscious. I don’t blame anyone for my death neither do I regret my resolution. I apologize to all those people whose feelings have been impaired by me, knowingly and unknowingly. I know that you people will call this move as a’ cowards’ move but I can’t help it.

Why am I committing this heinous crime? I know that once I’m gone, people will jump to all sorts of conclusion regarding the reason behind this!! My sad demise will be a topic of lengthy conversations and conspiracy theories for weeks and ultimately it will die-off somewhere in a stack of old newspapers. Apart for my closed ones, everyone will eventually forget me in days to come. Life moves on!!

But before I go, I have to make certain things very clear. I am not dying because I’m a loser in love! Like everyone, I also have been hit by cupid’s arrow once. Yes I admit that I was madly in love with a beautiful lady. Though she didn’t considered me worthy enough to return back my love, she never measured me more than a friend and our bond subsequently diluted a lot after I spoke my heart out to her, she literally parted off her ways from me after that which came as a huge shock to me and I was cut-down-to-pieces. I don’t think this is reason worth dying. Ending of a nexus between us didn’t connote ending up my life!!

I’m not ending up my life because of any pressure or debacle at my professional life. I am no different than others here. I too, have constantly been facing that killing work load, stressful ambience with performance and peer pressure! Like everybody else, I have also been a constant target of this cut-throat (here called as ‘competitive’) pull downs where everyone wants to get to the pinnacle by toppling others!! My soul is hard enough to bear this blow and I have learned to live with it.

Neither am I committing suicide because of the malevolence that’s being prevalent in the society. Threats like corruption, illicit trafficking, hiking crime-rates and the latest clan member on the block – terrorism are hollowing the society. With these evils at almost every face of life, with sinister hiding at every possible nook waiting for opportunity to cut their-pound-of-flesh, I have developed a resistance and a will to keep on rolling unperturbedly. This is not a cause fair enough to give up!!

Money!! No, this hardly qualifies a rationale to die!! After all no one is contented with the amount of cash they make!! Long ago I used to whine about the injustices that were done to me by my employer but now I have succumbed to the circumstances and have learned to live with compromises.

Then why am I willing to die? I want to die because this so called ‘growing up’ in me has changed me. I, no longer, am the person who I used to be earlier. With compromises at every stride of life, I’m actually going nowhere!! I don’t know weather this change is for good or for bad but I’m tired of all these ‘adjustments’ I have to make. So I choose to walk on this final path of my life. I know this death will not cause any revolution in the coming generations but at least, finally, a part of me is going to rest in peace!! I hope!!

- Someone Unknown and Ordinary